The Big Birthday Weekend!

This is going to be another long one! Make sure you are comfy and have a good drink (I might suggest coffee or something that has caffeine!) because you are going to be here a while. Perhaps some tissue on hand would be a good idea, especially for those of us that are sappy and teary!

I will start with Barry's birthday, yesterday. It was a lovely, wonderful, emotional, tiring day for Barry. When he woke up (I tried to keep Daniel busy, but he was so excited that it was Daddy's birthday!) he was attacked by Daniel lol. He was so excited for prezzies that he couldn't wait any longer. Barry, being a good sport despite the lack of coffee running through his body, acted super excited. When I say acted, the present Daniel picked out for him all by himself was a stuffed bear. Not top of the list for a man turning 50, but Barry was so happy to see Daniel so happy. He made such a fuss, Daniel was on cloud nine! When he opened the chain with the 7 on it, he was completely shocked and pleased. He said he couldn't think of a better gift. He said despite the fact that the IL-2 treatment in Buffalo is off (for now), he is still having the same attitude with everything else. He is still lucky number 7.

So after prezzies and cuddles, it was in the shower to get ready for John the physiotherapist's visit at 8:30. He wasn't here long, as it was his birthday, but he said that Barry's hand is improving greatly! Barry has been doing his exercises and you can actually see that he has more movement. John works magic! Barry's knee, although he stumbled last week and it felt worse, is in fact also improving. The injured area is getting smaller, and although it hurts after walking or standing, the time it takes to feel better again is slightly less than before. Yay! John ordered a walker for the times he has to go a distance, and for when he feels more unsteady than usual. So far he hasn't used it, but its there, just in case.


After John's visit, the phone calls started! Barry said he was ready to throw the phone out by the end of the day, but he loved the phone calls. After every one he had a huge smile. He has this tough guy image to uphold, but I could see through it! lol. He had phone calls from so many people, it was lovely. Steve, Wendie, Dot and Gray, Craig, Bill, AJ and Samantha and Uncle (who sang to him), Erin (who also sang), Mark Harman, Mel and Gage (who sang), and I am sure I am forgetting some! Thank you for the calls.

Barry's Mom and Dad came for the afternoon. They arrived around noon and left after 5. The time just flew by and before we knew it, it was getting late. We went to a Chinese buffet where Barry had shrimp, shrimp and more shrimp! He couldn't eat as much as he used to, but he sure enjoyed what he did have! We finished the meal with the wait staff singing happy birthday and bringing a crown, balloon, and a slice of cake to Barry! If I am honest, the rest of us enjoyed that more than Barry, but it was a great laugh! Barry's mom and dad made an album for Barry, with pictures of him from birth to present day. Inside the front and back, Stan wrote 2 poems for Barry, which had us all in tears! Barry sobbed, and was touched beyond words. I would like to share those, because it was so beautiful.


In the front:

Fifty years have gone by since you entered our world. Joy and tears, we have shared together later in life when you became an individual. You encountered problems and had the courage to ride out the storms. Life has not treated you kindly, many others would have surrendered. Not you, Barry, you dug your heels in to the point of obstinacy. Keep on fighting for you will win.


In the back:

Strong in mind
Broad of limb
His silent laugh
Is all we ask of him.


A gentle smile
A voice so calm
As he protects all
Those he knows, from harm.


So come dear son
Fight the fight
Defend us the weak
With all your might.


Thank you,Mom and Dad, for being so wonderful. Words come easily to me, but to describe just how lovely you are, I can't say enough or find the right words! Barry and I love you, we think you're all right! xxx

(did you have your tissues, as recommended??)


My aunt, Janice (aka AJ) and sister Samantha came for a quick visit and to bring some cards. Samantha gave him a card with lots of birthday coupons, which he is looking forward to using (he is using the "long nap" coupon as I write this! Then my aunt gave him a huge card filled with pennies (probably close to 30!) from the taxi company where she and my uncle work. All the drivers signed beside a penny. It was a nice surprise to see all those names of people thinking of Barry. Thank you to AJ and Uncle for having the lovely idea, and for making Barry smile xx


Then my good friend Kristine came round with a card and a foil helium balloon (to which Daniel has taken ownership of) for Barry. Thank you Kristine for those, and thank you for not noticing my sink full of dishes lol


After that, our friends Lorne and Donna stopped by and brought Barry another card. This made Barry a little teary after they left. I think it was partly due to the overwhelming day, and because we have known them for years, but honestly he wasn't expecting them to stop by. Donna offered her services to watch Daniel if we needed it next week, and it was just such a nice surprise. It was also nice because they genuinely care, along with so many others, and Barry was happy. And my sincere apologies to Lorne for discussing Barry's lack of hair loss. It was insensitive and thoughtless, given your, um, condition! xxx


I want to say thank you to everyone who made this day special for Barry. I think he needed his birthday to get a boost. He is nervous about the chemo on Monday, despite what he says, and yesterday gave him more reason to fight. So thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for everyones hand in the outpouring of love given to Barry yesterday. It was so nice to see Barry smile, laugh and even cry because of everyone! Thank you, a million times over! xxx Ok... I should have brought tissues with me!!!!


Barry received more cards, and I know there are more coming next week! Here are the latest arrivals:


1. Daniel Walker. He picked out one with an ice cream sundae on it, because Daddy likes ice cream. He wrote love Daniel inside. Thanks Monkey!


2. Me! Sappy and mushy with a 1998 penny, the year we were married, and completely by coincidence!


3. Mom and Dad. A huge card with every Simpson's character ever on the program, complete with the theme song! You win the award for the loudest and biggest card from 2 people!!


4. The gang at Canadian Cab. This is where my aunt and uncle, Janice and Gerry, both work. Thanks to everyone who signed and added a penny! You win the award for most signatures!


5. Kristine Aubin, from Guelph, who is my wonderful friend who has listened to me cry and then built me back up. Thank you for being there for me, and although we have "known" each other for years, its nice to have such a wonderful friend since moving back to Guelph! xxx


6. Lorne and Donna Bennett, from Guelph. I have known Lorne forever, and Donna almost forever. Thanks for ending our evening on a great note! xxx


7. Samantha, my sister. Barry has been here for most of your life. He appreciated the card, the coupons and the visit! Mwaah!


8. Gill and Gary Highton from the UK. Gary and Barry have been friends for a very long time, and the letter inside the card was lovely! Barry wants to give you a call, so please send us your number on face book or email (threebears1959@yahoo.ca) and we can arrange a time! xxx


9. The gang from Your Advantage Staffing. This is the staffing agency Barry worked for for only a short time. They have called regularly to check up on him, sent him flowers while he was in the hospital, sent him 2 birthday cards, one with scratch tickets, and one full of pennies. Thank you to everyone there, Lori, Joanne, Ruth, Stephanie, Jim, Ralph, and Shellie! You have made Barry smile many times!


10. Harold and Peg Stopher, from St. Catharines. These are Barry's uncle and aunt. This was card number 2 from you guys, so thank you very much! xx


11. Uncle Dick, from the UK. Dick is Wendie's uncle. Thank you for remembering Barry after all these years xxx


12. Auntie Lyn, from the UK. Lyn is Wendie's Aunt. Thank you for the lovely card!


13. Peter and Marilyn O'Shea from the Philippines. Peter is Wendie's dad. Thanks for the penny, you win for most creative penny, with a picture of you on the back. Seeing your picture brought back many memories for Barry. Thank you xxx


14. Jeff O'Shea from the UK. Peter is Wendie's brother. Thanks Jeff. Now that we're friends on face book, we can stay in touch xx


15. Julie from the UK. Julie is Jenny's friend. Thank you for taking the time out to send a card to Barry, a stranger. It tugs at our heart strings when strangers send a card xxx


16. Mike, Lynn and Dan Thyer from the UK. Mike and Barry were buddies and worked together in the UK. Always great to hear from the Boo!! Thank you so much xxx


17. Poppy Watson, from the UK. Poppy is a dear friend of Barry's Dad and Mum. Thank you for the beautiful hand made card. The confetti surprised Barry! The poem was so touching, thank you so much for your kind words. We saw your photo, so we now know who you are !! xxx


18. Ron and Pauline Mailloux, from London, Ontario. They are my aunt and uncle, one of my mom's 4 sisters. You win for "toughest" card, with Sylvester Stallone looking scary! And thank you for the pictures of my mom, and of me as a kid! They brought back some memories and made me tear up! Thank you xxx


19. Roy and Loretta Williamson from Pickering, Ontario. Roy and Loretta used to babysit Barry and his sister Lynn over 40 years ago! Thank you for the lovely note. Barry is staying thirsty! xxx


20. Melody Hutton and Greg Selby from Fergus. Mel is my cousin and Greg is her boyfriend. Thanks for the card and pennies! We still expect the peanut butter cookies you have promised to Barry! And you win the prize for the first duplicate card! You and your mom have the only 2 cards out of all of them that are the same!! lol xxx Oh, and Barry was not impressed that you wrote "50" about 50 times on the envelope! Now even the postman knows how old he is lol


21. Gage Selby from Fergus. Gage is Mel and Greg's 4 (almost 5) year old son. You picked out a great card Gage! Thanks buddy. The cat was pretty cute xx


22. Linda and Troy Baltus from Kitchener. They are new friends of ours :) Thank you for the virtual penny and card! You guys are the best xx

23. Jenny Lewis from Australia. Jenny is Steve's (Barry's brother) girlfriend Karen's mum. We haven't got your card in the post, but we got your e-card! Daniel loved the music and sang along with it many many MANY times! You and your friends have been wonderful xxx

So as you can see, yesterday was a great day. Barry (and I) were beat by the end of the day!


Thursday was a different kind of day, but ended on a high note. We went to Grand River Hospital and saw Dr. Knight, the oncologist. This visit was to test Barry's blood and to make sure his blood levels were able to handle the chemotherapy on Monday. They were :) Then the doctor and his nurse explained what to expect from the chemo and the dangers of infection. The white blood cells fight infection, but they will take a huge hit from the chemo, so Barry will be very susceptible to infection for a bit after the treatment, which could be fatal if not treated immediately. So, we were instructed how to avoid infection and then informed of the signs that an infection is starting, and finally how to react if the signs present themselves. All a bit overwhelming, to say the least, but very, very important.

I had what I will call an "encounter" with Dr. Knight, and as politely as I could, I told him to stuff it. The short version is that I find him cold, rude, and resigned to the fact that Barry can't beat this and I finally, after he was rude when I interrupted him to try and clarify a question that he misunderstood, told him just that! I feel a little guilty that I wasn't nice, and that I was long winded in telling him so (me? Long winded? Shocking, I know!) but it has resulted in Barry seeing a new oncologist in Hamilton. We are excited that this new doctor, Dr. Tozer, will be more positive. I never questioned that Dr. Knight was giving Barry outstanding medical care, it was purely the bedside manner and the attitude that was lacking considerably! Really, truly, we need someone positive that is going to encourage us to be positive, and to stay strong, and to fight this battle. We have come this far, rallied enough supporters, and have had a lot of positive vibes sent our way, we will not have the doctors, of all people, erase all that. Period. :)

So literally within the hour after we arrived home, the hospital in Hamilton, Henderson, called us to book the appointment. We could have gone yesterday, on Barry's birthday, but understandably, he wanted the day off (apart from John the physio guy) so it is now on the 22nd (I think). Dr. Knight is going ahead with the first round of chemo on Monday as planned. Barry and I were clear we didn't want to wait. With Barry's cancer being aggressive, its best to do this sooner rather than later.

Barry's mom and dad are coming back to Guelph on Monday to take care of Daniel while Barry and I head to Kitchener for his chemo. With the drugs Barry is to take before, and after the chemo, they expect a milder reaction that what we had originally thought of, having very little knowledge of chemo before all this. If he takes things correctly, and doesn't have an allergic reaction, it could feel like a tummy bug if he is lucky, and strong, which he is both! Here's hoping that it is smooth sailing on Monday.

Well, I am sure if you are still here, you are ready to be elsewhere! Just a few more quick things.

A friend of mine, Jessica, whose mother has battled breast cancer more than once, is running in the 30k Weekend to End Breast Cancer walk. Although the walk is specifically for breast cancer, she and I both have the mindset that if they can find a cure for one cancer, they can find a cure for all cancers! She will be thinking of all the people she has known to battle, win and lose the fight against all cancers. Although I don't know Jessica well, I know she is a strong woman, who raised a lot of money to be a part of the walk. I am so proud that you can do this for your mother, and for everyone else that has lived with cancer. I have been today, and will continue to think of you tomorrow! One day we will find a cure! xxx

Also, I wanted to thank Linda Baltus and Bill Rostron for the lovely compliments they have given me! Thank you and great big squeezy hugs to you both xx

Steve Walker.... I am sorry for the name I called you lol. You are so lovely... but I won't tell anyone just how lovely. I may have cried, but it was because your words, that come from your heart, are just so purely wonderful. Barry and I both appreciate you, and the distance between us is lessened each and every time we talk or write! xxxxxxxx

Until next time, lots of love to you all xxx